Progress

Well, it absolutely PAINS me to say this, but I have had a miscarriage.  I started to have some cramping and bleeding on Thursday when I got home from work.  I decided to stay home from work on Friday, since my new doctor's office didn't open until 8:30 am and I knew if they wanted to see me I'd basically leave work when I got there to drive back to Arlington.  Although the doctor did not see me, they ordered bed rest and to monitor my symptoms.  I tried not to move on Friday (other than to get food and go to the bathroom), and took it easy Saturday and Sunday as well.  When I called the doctor again Monday to report my progress over the weekend (the cramping and bleeding stopped Saturday morning), I was able to move up my initial new patient appointment a week to July 9.  I really wanted to get checked out and get some blood work taken to make sure things were still progressing.  My sister recommended I call my current gynecologist and see if they would be able to do blood work.  I called them and luckily they squeezed me in and said they wanted to see me ASAP because of my symptoms.  My doctor was concerned about the bleeding, and ordered some blood work.  He called me today after getting the results, and the blood work came back negative.  Although my doctor said this is never good news, it is good news that we know that I can get pregnant.  I knew this could be a possibility and had already tried to mentally prepare, but I was still not expecting his news.  I cried in the bathroom at work for about 40 minutes, while texting my sister and a few other friends I had reached out to.  My doctor recommended we wait a full period cycle before we try again, just to make sure everything has sorted itself out.  I am really sad and it's just so crazy how up and down you can go in exactly a week.

My Fourth Pregnancy Test

The only plus about the bogus pregnancy test was I got to share a very special moment with my sister, Amanda.  The day dragged on yesterday, but finally it was time to leave and I jumped in my car and couldn't get to my Mom's house any faster.  Amanda was waiting there for me with a plastic cup in hand and ordered me upstairs.  I took the test and we anxiously waited outside the bathroom for the test to finish.  This was my first time having someone else there, so it was nice to not be the only one pacing about.  She went in to check on the test, and came out of the bathroom with it in hand and smiling, so I assumed it said "pregnant".  She asked if I wanted to know and showed me the test and it did say "pregnant".  We hugged (and cried!) and were just both relieved.  Amanda said she had a dream 2 nights prior that woke her up at 4 am that I had taken a pregnancy test that came back positive so she had a feeling I was in fact pregnant.  I took a picture of the test and we hid the evidence since my parents would be coming home any minute.  The best part is we were surrounded by a 1 and 3 year old and neither of them had any clue what was going on.

Tyler didn't come over until later for dinner.  Everyone was already there (my parents, Marianne & Andy) since we were having our last meal together before Amanda and the kids went back home to Indiana.  When Tyler went to get a beer in the basement, I followed him and showed him a picture of the test that said "pregnant".  Once he realized what he was looking at, his eyebrows raised (in a shocked and surprised way) and he gave me a hug and a kiss.  And we both said, well it's done now!  We were both really kind of shocked, and I still don't think it has set in.

The rest of the evening, Amanda and I continued to talk in code, which I don't think anyone else caught on.  I've got some calls to make to the doctor, and a bunch of things to read on what I can/can't eat, use, etc.  I was really happy to have shared that special moment with my sister since she has been there a lot for me in the last few months that we have been trying to get pregnant.  What a great memory!

Third Times the Charm?! I Think Not...

I haven't even thought about posting in awhile because I didn't have an update since the last post.  We are still trying, but are still not pregnant.  It has been really difficult to try to predict my ovulation, since my temperatures are not consistent and really bounce back and forth.  This is our 5th month of trying, and I know that's not a really long time, but when you have it on the brain it really seems like a long time.  

So far, I have waited until a missed period (or at least what I thought was a missed period) to test since I don't want to waste the pregnancy tests!  The bad thing with that is the suspense is always grueling just waiting!

My third pregnancy test was taken the morning on Tuesday, June 17.  We were visiting Tyler's family the previous weekend, and I decided I wanted to wait until we were back home since I wouldn't necessarily have privacy to take a pregnancy test, and I didn't think I could keep it a secret if I found out I was pregnant!  That morning I really dreaded getting up, because I didn't want to disappointment if it said "not pregnant".  I finally dragged myself out of bed and took the test... only to find out the test was a dud!  Oh my goodness, this is some cruel joke because I didn't have another pregnancy test!  So bummed as I was, I had to go to work and try not to obsess over it.  I went on my lunch break to buy another test and then waited to test when I got home from work.  And waited, and waited... the day could not drag on any slower...